Discernment is a Sword

Discernment is a sword that separates lies from truth. It’s a spiritual weapon I wield in my mind’s eye, although it’s only recently that I’ve learned how to use it properly; that is, to protect the heart. It’s what I would ask my husband to do.

I hate to admit that I’ve merely been holding it all this time, the blade symbolizing what I am capable of (e.g., harm, violence, cruelty) rather than what I actually stand for (e.g., strength, courage, kindness). What I’ve come to learn is this is a subtle fight in an invisible war. The only way to see clearly is to honor how I feel.

Because inevitably, what I value will be questioned, exploited, commoditized, diminished, disrespected, and misappropriated; but it’s difficult to recognize these tactics in real time. They are disguised by people who we love and care about, who have gained levels of trust not normally given. We are quick to forgive people who have our best interests in mind.

Alas, we need a sword. Our interests should not be in their minds. What a dangerous place, this spiritual battlefield, this collective consciousness, where everyone’s angels and demons are always fighting for good and evil, for truth and lies. And no one can tell for themselves what’s what so they seek others out as a moral compass. Am I a good person? Please love me.

I believe our hearts break every time we stop believing what we see. Indeed, our vision comes correct once that tiny paper cut of hurt whispers in our ears one last time. We understand it now as a lie that undoes everything, and rage against all the receipts that confirm every truth that never was, or was only used slightly or conveniently or cavalierly, or omitted altogether.

It’s hard to show up honestly for another person when we have trouble being honest with ourselves. Because if I was being honest, I would have believed how crummy I felt the first time they showed me who they are, sitting opposite of who I am. It is the great Maya Angelou lesson of my adult life, learning how to listen.

Seeing goodness in others, and ourselves, is only a half truth. Using a sword saves our hearts from being blinded by it.